it’s so late and
the crowd just wants wants wants
the last call then they can go home
or find one
whichever happens first
tell me dear, are you waiting for me?
Or are you waiting to not be lonely, not
that you should be too ashamed
either way I just
need to get home somehow
I want the world to be some
Place I can finally call
Home it doesn’t have to be all that pretty
If it could just not bite at me
It seems like every day
Now I’m scared to close my eyes
I might not wake up but then
That might not be so bad
People might even be sad
I just need one person to get me through every day
Everyone knows what I mean
Whether it’s her or him or anything
My, how you are lovely.
I’m no good at this
Poetry is hit or miss
Good things come to the blessed
Maggie always swears I’m innocent
Never counted sheep
So I never went to sleep
I spent my nights a creep
The world’s a lonely place to sleep
When she’s praying even,
Maggie tells her Lord I’m innocent
This is something new to me
Her future’s far as the eye can see
And yet she chose to run with me
Never looked back
And I ain’t never seen jack
‘Cuz it’s really all up to her and me
Because Maggie tells everybody I’m innocent!
I’ve been on the run and
It’s never been too much fun
Stop this madness for ‘while
Just stop; you just keep screaming like some child
And I don’t think I really care
In Maggie’s eyes
I’ll always be innocent
Today at around ten at my high school was a memorial for another sophomore who killed herself about a week ago. I was just pissed because the school news anchors, the bigoted assholes, didn’t bother to say anything until this past Friday. But no, I didn’t go. Her family and her had just moved here a month before school started, and I didn’t even know the girl’s name until I saw her picture on Facebook.
Then I was like……shit…she’s the same age as me. Does that ever hit anybody else? They become so selfish that they make it about them? I mean, hanging sounds like it hurts, I’m sorry. Not my style.
I feel like I also didn’t go to the memorial, just because then it’d bring my somewhat twisted view of death into question. My mother once called it psychopathic. My dad simply acknowledges that I have a ‘rare’ view. But it’s like……everybody, we are all going to die! OKAY? Do you understand that? You are not a living thing if you are unable to die, so congratulations! Deal with it. Bring it up with your parents if you’re really that dissatisfied. I sure have.
And I mean, would she be any happier now? Sleeping in a psychiatric ward with actual lunatics (sorry) while her parents just keep up that false hope that one day everyone’s going to feel so much better. I mean, now they can move on. I’m not upset with her for killing herself, sometimes it’s just there. I don’t hold it against her. Living is quite a harder occupation than people make it out to be, and being lonely couldn’t have helped. Now, I’m not going to go on some self-loathing rant how if I had only spoken to her one time maybe I of all people could’ve saved her, because that’s crap, man. But timing is fucking everything.