No-Bra Day!

Yeah, seems like the kinda thing I’d be all for, right? I’ve already had a bunch of people bring it up, like I look forward to this all year.

It’s not that cool, you know. It’s not the same, but I kinda see your attempt…..and raise you ACTUALLY FUCKING DONATING! It’s just like total fucking strangers and random people shaving their heads for cancer awareness- it doesn’t solve anything, you just have a new haircut and sound like a better person.

So if you’re going to do something in October, donate. To be fair, if you look up the real numbers behind breast cancer-related deaths, we shouldn’t be raising so much awareness, we’re focusing on all the wrong issues (elephant in the room, huh?). But, as the article says, your ta-tas poking through your top doesn’t solve problems.


Pin-Up Wednesday!


I feel like I need to mention that the caption under the original was “Back with a splash!” because I never would’ve been able to think of something that clever.

Camp Couple!

I saw pictures on Facebook this morning of two of the volunteers from camp. He says they’re a thing now. They’re seriously the cutest couple I’ve ever seen.

And I told him she stuffs her bra because I just instinctively had a very jealous-girlfriend moment, but obviously it didn’t matter.

That’s good I can be a pain in the ass whenever and my opinions are still overridden.

I’ve never

Been more afraid of having a migraine in my life. Or…….since I started getting them, I guess, then stopped, 3 months ago. So I guess in the grand perspective this isn’t as big a deal as it could be. But last night I had my first migraine (and it was definitely a migraine and definitely very bad), and it scared the shit out of me. I thought they were gone since my surgery, I was so excited. Especially since I’m still three states away from my meds in case they come back.
But I think I actually physically feel fine, if it matters to anyone, I’m just really overwhelming myself. What can get worse? I have another brain tumor?
Well, damn.

I Guess Everyone Else Deals, Too

So, this was my revelation at camp this year. I’m changing names, of course, because of visibility purposes.

At the camp I attend for the first week in August, it’s run officially by CBTF- Child Brain Tumor Foundation- and there are three level of ‘staff.’ These are core staff (nurses, rec, etc.), volunteers (who volunteer), and mentors per cabin, who are usually ex-campers who’ve outgrown the age groups. I could ramble about jobs and whatever, but that’s not super relevant to my story. Another time.

So, the camp is this year 20 years old. Charity funded by big corporations and whatever. It’s a big deal. Whoever, I just found out that one of the core staff members (and runs sports & rec) has been with the camp since he was 18, and he’s now 26. Furthermore, all the staff members of camp pick and choose their weeks to stay at the camp, and none stay for the whole summer, It’s, frankly, a TON of work to put in and takes way too much patience.

But I found out from another staff member that this guy (figuratively we’ll call him Richard) stays the WHOLE three months the camp’s open. From when he gets out of school to when he goes back. Dedication.

And more, at the end-of-camp big bonfire or whatever, when the camp directors are saying their goodbyes and congrats or something, this guy chokes up seriously. Red eyes and speechless.

Now, he’s an awesome guy, ‘Richard.’ I absolutely don’t hold any of this against him, nor do I question it, him, or his intentions, but it seems like no one knows a goddamn thing about him or why he’s here. I’ve brought this up casually with another staff member, and they mentioned that a lot of people work here to work through personal grief with loss- but DAMN, this is dedication! 

Okay, that’s a little insensitive. But you know what I mean. This has been almost 10 years for him! I’d go insane.

And this isn’t an issue I’m going to be blunt enough to bring up ever with “Richard,” but curiosity’s getting the better of me for some reason now. I probably won’t find any substantial reasoning ever, or if I do it’d be when I become a mentor (2 years!), but I’ve never actually been dying to be nosy like this.



Why Dad’s a Piece of Crap

Hold your judgment until the end.

1) There’s the biggest gap in what he is and what he thinks he is. Now, I understand that we as outsiders (loved ones, whatever) also perceive him as whatever we want him to, but hhe just deifies himself all time. My dad can’t be wrong.. I try not to hold it against him, but I’m not going to work around his ego for the rest of his life.

2) He’s unfathomably bitter. He just harbors anger at people. It’s like every time someone even cuts him off in traffic he keeps a list and takes it out at home. It makes me not want to answer his phone calls and not want to come see him ( which unfortunately I’m here now). I get that my father went through a really shitty divorce, and divorce sucks, and my mom was and still is really awful to him, but it’s nobody else’s fault and he needs to find some kind of goddamn coping skill pretty soon. I’m not tolerating his BS forever.

3) He’s such a horrible drunk. I don’t meet many drunks this bad, and most of my friends are drinking age. He’s just ugly. Are we that bad that he can’t be sober for one second around us, then he can’t remember anything significant afterwards, and on top of it he’s still just as bitter and rude and mean? We’re not awful kids, I don’t see why we have to put up with it.

4) He’s so passive-aggressive. And in this really odd way where he’ll just casually mention what he’s mad about, like mom not driving me to the airport herself or me not calling (which wasn’t my fault, my SIM card was busted), and no one ever wants to continue talking about the subject because we want too continue having a nice day, so everyone in the car gets to just smolder over him being childish, and he acts like it doesn’t bother him after that.

5) It’s always up to him. we are doing what he wants today, we are eating what he wants, and we are spending X amount of money and he is going to complain about it incessantly until the end of time, no questions asked. If he always wanted to be this selfish, he shouldn’t have friends, he shouldn’t see us once a month, and he should’ve never gotten married. I still swear they should’ve never had us if they could’ve avoided it.

Fertile morons.

Giving Up or Moving On?

The Fickle Heartbeat

Giving Up or Moving On

Shared by An Over-thinker Secret Romantic.

After seeing several friends of mine (and myself included) hitting the stage of not knowing whether to keep trying or just calling it quits with another person (not just significant others) I decided to write an open letter for those who currently find themselves at that point and don’t know what to do anymore. Once again I am not an expert and I don’t have all the answers, so just consider this a personal opinion as well as a comforting note that could help you make a decision on what the next step should be:

Let’s face it; many of us have been there: that awkward and exhausting stage where things just aren’t the same with that person. Boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, you name it, things just aren’t working. So you try your best to look back and find the point where…

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So……went to go see my pops again in Fl. What he didn’t tell us about coming to see him for ten days was that he’d still be working night shift……..nice once.

So, I found this Honest Weather App that the psych from my camp told me about, and if you give your city, it’ll say something like “Really f*cking hot” like it did here. No seriously. In Orlando, it was 90 when I got off the plane.

And finally found my elusive required reading for AP psych in a month. Opening Skinner’s Box. It’s basically an anthology of the greats, if you will. But it makes sense as required reading, if teachers really go on the assumption here that their only exposure to psychology before this was in freshman sex ed.