I’m not call-
Ing you a LIAR
I just hope you can’t
See right through me
I’m not calling you sinful I’m
Calling you special
Calling you sexy, sick, and insistent
I lie here in WAIT
red shoes black dress loving
the attention my darling
Begging for attention
My darling
Keeping count keeping pace keeping
For God’s sake
And you in your
And the attention

My friends have been….

Picking on me for two reasons for the past, like, week: a) for whatever reason, my libido has been increased a hundredfold, something about mating season and this guy in my health class that the Japanese teacher and I gossip about all day, and b) I like my coffee exclusively black, and this is quite a hot topic to everyone.

For those not able to pick up on my caffeinated euphemism, it has been frequently said that I am only attracted to black people. Whether or not this is true is neither relevant nor I guess tested, seeing as I’m sixteen, for Christ’s sake. But the Japanese teacher also finds it funny because she taught my ex-boyfriend, also African-American, and teaches my current object of affection, also African-American, and just everybody I meet finds this absolutely hysterical. My grandma thought it was funny, my mom gave me shit, my friends ARE RELENTLESS, and I don’t dare tell anyone else.

I mean, everybody just shut the fuck up.

But I think I’ve been a little close to breathing down his neck (or maybe even pants….), so I’m trying to shut my mouth. Quite literally speaking.

Love Me Always

What if I were pale and ugly?

A useless, sexless thing?

Watching you always and asking you always

Never to leave such an atrocity

And if I were the same in

A bold and beautiful mask and bodysuit?

Full makeup provided?

Would I be of more use to you still

Mute, useless, sexless

Immobile, deaf and dumb but never ever blind.

And the dumbass tape recorder stuck on one line:

“Love me always.”

How To Tease

Call it a
Decision on
The phone but
I’m really just asking you to
Get over here
Whichever gets you here faster
But you could just flip a coin
To see if you come or not
Whichever makes
Up your mind
Just know what I’d do 
To get you over here
……..Yeah, that
I could make another
Dumb excuse but
By now you want
To come it’s been
A few hours a
Few conversations a
Few texts a
Picture. Come.
Never mind. 
Phase over.


So whatever I'm a
Watercolor painting
Wet dream
Now I'm supposed to make a scene
Like this is supposed to be
The real thing
And what the hell is that supposed to mean?
Just shrug it off your shoulders
And be a rolling stone and
Soak your little white t-shirts
With all the big boys' drool
Just be the starring scene 
In all their watercolor wet dreams
And you don't have to know
What all that means.