Hey I Actually Look Cute!


Hey I Actually Look Cute!

Three dates down, two paychecks, and a little bit of hearing loss later, I ended up having a way better time going stag. I got to dance with my school’s first gay Homecoming king, got down with some strangers, and accidentally stole some girl’s man. Well, look at me. Wasn’t hard.

Why aren’t I this lonely every year?

SO NOT COOL!!!!!


Alright, I’m not the one in the wrong here, correct?

See, for Homecoming this year a group of four of us were going- myself, my oldest best friend Hannah, my friend Ian (who’s boyfriend is in another country and ASKED if I would take him), and my recently outed other best friend Matt. The latter two, frankly, because they would not have gone had I not included them, and neither will be here next year.

So we made these plans three weeks ago. Bought our tickets three weeks ago. Who’s driving, characters (the theme is Wizard of Oz), etc. So, starting last Friday night, I was supposed to go with Hannah to the mall dress shopping, because if I didn’t she’d come back looking like a Russian prostitute- I’m not effing kidding. Some other girlfriend of hers comes up with her, which I didn’t care about,, and her mom. She tells me AS I’M GETTING IN THE CAR that she has a new date, so she’s decided she’s gonna go with him. Doesn’t even care about me.

Doesn’t even say sorry. That’s the thing that pisses me off the most.

Keeps me trapped in the mall for the next 5 hours carrying stripper dresses, treats me like dirt, (I think the only people who were decent to me were the girl who came along and the sales clerk at Nordstrom’s), and about the fifth hour I just fucking left. I was done with it. And she never even fucking apologized.

I haven’t really spoken to her since. But then there was Matt.

So Matt comes up to me at lunch and tells me straight that he refunded his ticket and didn’t even want to go anyway, that he got tickets to go to some theme park that night instead. Leaves. Does not say sorry. Sees me on the bus later and pretend like it was totally cool shit. I liked it better in seventh grade when I used to give him black eyes on a regular basis, you know?

Oh, and Ian. Ian is probably grounded because he feels this dumbass need to just rebel against every stupid rule in front of him. Like, I don’t see the point of a lot of it. He snuck his phone out of his parents’ room when he was already supposed to be grounded. He is such a dumbass it’s not even funny anymore.

Just- I deal with all their shit so 24-7 it’s not even cool. I pretend to like what they like, care about what they care about, listen when they need me to fucking listen. And they all talk a fucking LOT! I ask for one fucking thing, and nobody can give me that. I’m  sick of being a second-class citizen to all of them. I try to do so much for them, and the one thing I ask, no one is ever willing to do. I don’t see what is fucking fair about that.

So…..updates everyone……


As of September 19th……I was walking to the bus and, mind you, I knew moving into my new hous the one next door  was being investigated in a possible meth ring. So I was walking to the bus stop (my dog walks with me and waits at the stop, sweetie) and ALL THE FUCKNIG LIGHTS WERE ON IN THE HOUSE! I flipped my goddamn shit. I mean, I had a test in AP history, so I wasn’t gonna do anything about it, but it still seriously creeped me out. My dog was just kinda like “Oh, new friends,”

Oh, and then my sister dumped old perfume all over my bathroom, and it smells like a brothel. That was funny. OH, and she bullied my mom’s boyfriend into doing his makeup. That was hysterical.

And I’m being forced into getting school pictures for the first time since 5th grade. Yikes, Oh, and I have 4 dates for homecoming. Like, they all asked me out singularly and now we’re going as a group. Oops.