Let’s get it out of the way that I’m still with my father. I don’t want to talk about him. I want to discuss the issue of my feelings in their entirety.

God, they’re so lame. They’re the reason I get stepped on. The reason I get my heart broken. The reason I’m so disappointed in everyone. I think no one’s understanding the enormity of stomping on me, of using me when I’m convenient.

So why am I putting my feelings into people? Why should I love people more than anyone loves me? Why do more people deserve more affection than I will ever get in return? Am I doing it wrong?

the semicolon project

Hey, so….in my personal opinion, I love what everyone’s trying to accomplish here, and I’d love to accomplish here, but I’m trying to keep my own tattoos to a bare BARE minimum, and absolutely I think tattoos on the flat part of the inside of your arm are dumb (mostly because everyone I know who’s gotten ink in this area have gotten dumb ones), so I’d look to contribute to the movement if we can expand in an artsy/lifestyle way. Thoughts? Contributions? Discuss.
Today I went to a tattoo artist, and for $60 I let a man with a giant Jesus-tattoo on his head ink a semi-colon onto my wrist where it will stay until the day I die. By now, enough people have started asking questions that it made sense for me to start talking, and talking about […]

I’m getting my shit together….

The last few months have been a piece of shit. Radiation took the life out of me, really. I had no interest in being a person, I was in survival mode. Well, school’s over, I passed all my classes, I got my glasses and my hearing aid, so I think it’s about time I can work on myself again. I can’t remember the last time I really sat down and wrote anything. It used to be like it took up all my time. It was always on my mind. 30 in 30 was painful.
I’m starting over. I’m going to get myself together my senior year. I’m tired of moping around. It’s not me. None if this is me, and it’s not going to define me.

PS, can anyone loan my $60? I’m in some hot water and I owe someone $.

Hey, so….

I know I’m super lame and let 30 in 30 go to hell…..but you know, I started it during finals so I think I set myself up for failure. Maybe we’ll start over while I’m with my father……

In other news, I’m reading Native Son- can anyone tell me when the story picks up? I’m a little bored but I need to get it done.

And I got cake yesterday and it was amazing. That’s all I wanted to cover 🙂 

30 in 30 13 & 14

I just want to say that this has in no way been a 30 in 30 project- it kinda resembles a 30 in 15….

I’ve deadlifted anxiety on my shoulders
For too long to sit down now
I’m tired of you deciding when I’m Pavlov’s goddamn
Dog and when I’m a prisoner
I’m a prison guard
You just can’t play along.

Bring your own helpless
Bring your drug-addled and dazed
Your paradise lost