30 In 30 Feb 23rd


What? Does duct tape
Hold your heart together
Do priests cover it in roses
Monthly to hide the smell?
But don’t blame them, for shit’s sake.
I don’t want to hear some schizophrenia I
Want answers
You’re a mess
Messmessmess; but
I guess I respect that you’ve never stopped
Trying

30 In 30- Feb 22nd


Red Lips White Lies Blue-Bloods
Darling
I Know Exactly What You Mean
Noone wants dreams no more they
Want flesh dumbass
Blood and sweat
This is your social life, love
Is the shock coming through the static or
SHOULD I SPEAK UP?
“No Sir, I am not hard of hearing.
I do not speak mutter.”

30 In 30 Feb. 20th


I want to see cracks in skin, permanent tan lines pressed.
I want to hear wrinkled voices, disgusting and disgustingly happy.
I want to choke secondhand smoke, child
That’s not something you can just lie about.
I want to grow up with brittle bones and os-that-what’s-it-called
I want your dress seams to disagree always.
I want to know the earth will not be soft when I fall
And take the hardest of breaths climbing stairs.
I want to keep your hands from shaking, my pet
You can’t take old age away from me just yet

30 In 30- Feb 18th


Your life is a tall drink of water.
It is all your happiness, worth, livelihood- all.
Imagine it never spills, just figuratively, for a whole lifetime
Not even for the prospect of being selfish
This is your self-worth we are concerned with.
Are you worth anything ever at all?
And this glass slowly fills, slow as it possibly can
At first. Through the hard years.
But this glass is designed to get you through them.
You can do this.
It picks up pace, though, and soon.
The droplets that fill are teary and lovely and
All sorts of the miraculous things one can
Do in a lifetime
And this is when it dawns on you
That your glass is actually quite tiny.
But it is full.
Simply let it spill.

30 In 30- Feb 16th


I must be a perpetual panic attack
Look at what I’m wearing
And I bet if I asked them to stare
They’d stare more
The more the merrier
So what? I should walk faster or slower to
Escape the suburban paparazzi?
High school drool, as it is
It only is
I don’t know what anyone’s
Doing, not being more discreet
You may as well
Rip off my clothes right here
It would actually be less violating
Well, wouldn’t that just THRILL the masses
Just what we need

30 In 30- Feb 15th


I could watch
Him double over in laughter
For the rest of my life.
Brown
Eyes shut tight and wide, crazy smile gasping for breath.
Clutching his stomach for it
Then he finally looks at me
And I realize I get to take credit for it
And I think I’m the only one here
Who could care so much

30 In 30 Feb 14th


You don’t
Understand I want
To be with you through
Thick and thin
I can’t wait to pick fights and
I’ll let you win
I want to be the story behind
Your deepest scar and
Be your brightest star
I can be your favorite fairytale
And Peter Pan, we can fly together
And you can be morphine, I’ll be whatever
You be deaf and I’ll be blind
At least we don’t tell lies
We could be gruesome
But it’s still a fairytale
Somewhere

30 In 30 Feb 13th


Halfway down the steps
Starting my morning coffee
I can hear you
One small “Excuse me”
“Hey, how you doing?”
I can feel you
Going through your old stuff
Throwing it away
I can still smell you
Talking about you, though?
There’s not really much to miss

30 in 30- Feb 12th


Almost halfway there!

Halfway down the steps
Starting my morning coffee
I can hear you
One small “Excuse me”
“Hey, how you doing?”
I can feel you
Going through your old stuff
Throwing it away
I can still smell you
Talking about you, though?
There’s not really much to miss

30 In 30- Feb 10 & 11th


I’m starting to understand what my teacher said about this challenging people’s commitment issues…………

Feb 10th-

Oh holy hell I’d give anything for you
To give me the silent treatment.
You don’t understand what I would sacrifice, I would
Actually give all the fingers on my right hand for you
To get throat cancer
And your tongue to swell to the size of your head
And I’d never have to hear you again
You don’t HAVE to die
Just shut up.
I saw a man with throat cancer once.
It could be a promising future for you.
Just……away from me.

Feb 11th:

Oh, leave me alone
No one cared ’til you told them
I was the devil