What If?

I could list every if
I’ve ever heard, the ones I’m
Scared of the most
And I’d still avoid
I think.
Because what if I went around asking what if
And what if the answer I planned
Wasn’t what I got?
What if it was so much worse?
What if it was so much better?
Would anybody else lose faith, too?



Oh, give me a fighting chance
Discriminate me indiscriminately
Worship me cautiously
And drop me when you
Realize I’m as ruthless as you
Support me blindly, don’t
Let go I can’t stand on my own.
Give me a fighting chance
At least
Love me for a monster
If you must
For the mere sake of addiction, princess
Love me for your own sake of selfishsupport
Tell me that you love me
Love me for a
At least I’m not the one lying
You can love me if only for the
Fact we are all lonely, and
No one knows how to deal with lonely
Just love me

Jack Kerouac, Poet

“Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary talk. Not courting talk- real straight talk about souls, for life is holy and every moment is precious.”

New CD Fearless Records Review

I’m highly debating pre-ordering the Punk Goes Acoustic Vol. 2 album. If you’re not familiar, the Fearless records label has a website with all their signed artists on them. They created a lot of that Falling in Reverse, Bayside, et cetera kind of genre. Some of it was probably better left on YouTube, I will be the first to admit. I’m a personal Bayside fanatic.

But what they have done aside from their individual bands’ CDs is created compilations of covers, but all with a specific theme. And because the bands performing them are somewhat similar, they all come out as “Punk Goes Acoustic” or “Punk Goes 80’s” or “Punk Goes Pop” or the like.\

But what’s being announced is this Punk Goes 90’s 2. And I’m guessing the first one had pretty high ratings, or they wouldn’t be pursuing it. Like with the Punk Goes Pop collections, there are a series of five now because they were so popular and I guess this really is a good way to make extra cash for a lot of other people. And it seems like a good marketing strategy, too.

The songs themselves are pretty solid, even as good as the nineties gets, know what I mean (*cough* Rammstein *cough*). And it’s relatively inexpensive. $10. I won’t get it until April Fool’s Day, though. That said, they are a bunch of emo pop/punk bands performing them, and if anybody’s going to be super touchy about the dear desecration of your beloved Green Day, this ain’t up your alley. If any of the Fearless Records albums have ever taught us anything, that is.

There is always the option of buying a song individually, remember. And I highly recommend Pop Goes Punk Vol. 4 for the interested.

Live Like This

I am going to be lost.
I am going to be pennies dropped
From pockets jumping turnstiles
We are time jumping turnstiles, don’t you see?
I am going to be so lost.
I am going to be an old hat not worn
Since I guess last winter
Left at an old lover’s
And I suppose now a gift
To that same old lover
A parting gift, a consolation for the
Love of your life of sorts
I am ready and determined to be lost.
I’ll be old, unused CDs
Dank and growing moldy
From mistreatment during Moving Day
And I want no one to miss me, got it, missy?
I better be lost in the morning.
I better be gone in the morning and replaced
With 2.0, with something shinier for the youngest to play with-
That’s what everybody else does nowadays, anyway.
And then plot twist, I’ll be found.
Found change on the sidewalk
In a vending machine.
I bet I could still be found
In the bottom drawer of the dusty bedside table
Underneath love letters and fantastic testaments of devotion
And we’ll all be whole again
And then I’m going to be found, finally
Like your favorite music on the worst day of your life
Like people actually live like this, yes
Yes, people actually live like this

Choosing You

I could lose you like
Spare change, babe,
Doesn’t’ make a difference
To me
Bet I’ll forget about both
‘Til I’m really spent
I guess that’s what I do what
I’m famous for what
You absolutely adored me for
What happened?
Please, can you just lose me, too?
Don’t look around, don’t ask around, don’t
Throw yourself around
That’s what I’m really famous for-
Throwing myself around.
Oh dear, more?
You want more, you’re back?
Crap, this means
I have ot love you back, right?
I have to say something back and
I might as well not reject you
You’re just terrified, darling,
Terrified to ask me to choose
You are terrified to ask me to choose
Because you think I won’t choose you

Hate Having Empathy?

Not alone. It’s a bitch.

Full disclosure, trying to word this so it’s pretty anonymous here, but broke my heart a little bit-

I have this really good friend on Facebook that’s gone through a lot of the same medical issues I have, so I really empathize with her. She’s got this great attitude about everything and she’s awesome to get along with. But the thing is, she’s one of the first people I’ve really seen up close and personal who’s honestly poor.

And not quite welfare poor, just enough that nobody helps her and the people that live with her. And she’s on disability and is mostly in a wheelchair. Needs her own ASPCA commercial.

So…..she was on Facebook (of course I was on, I don’t have a life), and she was said in one single sentence that her grandmother was crying because they didn’t have enough money for dinner. Not even trying to beg or whine, just one little bitchy sentence. And I was kinda like, ‘been there, bro,”…..but I’ve never been there, let’s be serious.

And I think I really want to send them the rest of my birthday money. And that’s not even an overreaction for me, usually; I just react. I am an empathizer. I can’t handle that shit. I give away everything I have to homeless people, I over-tip, everything. Even if I don’t know what it’s ilk to be in someone’s shoes, I don’t wanna know. Just don’t.

Stamps out of state can’t cost that much. Watch me do something about this and seriously regret it later because I don’t have any money.

30 In 30 Feb 23rd

What? Does duct tape
Hold your heart together
Do priests cover it in roses
Monthly to hide the smell?
But don’t blame them, for shit’s sake.
I don’t want to hear some schizophrenia I
Want answers
You’re a mess
Messmessmess; but
I guess I respect that you’ve never stopped

30 In 30- Feb 22nd

Red Lips White Lies Blue-Bloods
I Know Exactly What You Mean
Noone wants dreams no more they
Want flesh dumbass
Blood and sweat
This is your social life, love
Is the shock coming through the static or
“No Sir, I am not hard of hearing.
I do not speak mutter.”