How To Not Get Raped


By Anna Akana
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=86ST_suvc9I

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Handy(wo)man Adventures In Lorton


My dad won’t be dropping in on us until next Saturday, and my toilet started running on Tuesday. Fucking annoying, and I didn’t want to call a plumber because I knew in my heart of hearts that it was either the plumber or MY homecoming dress!

So, what do I do? Last week, my Geosystems teacher had been talking to me about some elctrical work he was doing on his house, so I figured he knew, if anyone, how to fix this (and more beside the point, we’ve kind of burned our bridges with all my previous free labor).

In class yesterday I asked him what to do if the toilet won’t stop running and filling back up with water. And I love him and the TA now, because they wrote out a list for me during study hall of all the things to check for, and what I’d need myself to fix it. Better yet, I wouldn’t need to call a plumber for generally anything, they said.

On one sexist note, sometimes it’s just good to have a bunch of men in your life. ‘Cuz I knew nothing about nothing.

So when I got home, I didn’t even have to go through everything they pointed out. The float had been busted kinda and got waterlogged, so when Kathleen got home she took me to get it replaced, and now my toilet works again. I tested it.

I’m so cool. I can do anything.

Black Sails, Red Nails, and Epic Fails


One day when you were gone
A crack grew in
The rooftop and
I watch it rain
All damn day
If you’re not the one
Then why do our hands
Fits perfectly
Together this way
Anyway?
Do you have anything left to say?
When you came back the sun was shining,
But the flowers had all drowned anyway
You replanted them in my chest
Left me started, going, like all the rest
Somehow I know we’re more than friends
When you say you’re dreaming of yourself
Lying on my rooftop
You stop and smile like
That’s not actually as far as you got
Just keep it to yourself and blush
Like this ain’t nothing like falling in love
You were just a girl
With a teardrop
Tattoo underneath
One eye
Who broke all her promises and
Stopped in her tracks just to say hi
Your brother’s a nice man
He took my hand and he whispered
Be nice to her
She may or may not be
One of the good girls
We’ll all just sit idly by and
Wait for this story to unfurl
And it was midnight in
The middle of summer, you
Left your number on my cupboard
Like a charade of the insane
Her black sails and her red nails disappearing in the sea
Did you ever see?
Such stupid things
As you and me?
Did you ever see the sails before they disappeared into the sea?